Welcome to our store, friend. We call it Whitemart. Don’t worry, we don’t discriminate! Everyone is welcome to list products for sale on our open platform at the same reasonable prices.
There is a slight caveat. It’s Whitemart for a reason, of course. First-time sellers of the White race receive special benefits, including:
$500 credit to assist with start-up and operational costs for eligible newly-launched sellers.
$400 in Sponsored Products advertising credits to increase exposure for your business.
FREE imaging services for up to 50 products to help showcase your products.
Cash grant opportunities for select sellers, offered in partnership with Hello Whitey, an organization dedicated to helping entrepreneurs launch and grow their businesses.
A minimum of one year of strategic advisory services to get the coaching, training, and insights you need to take your business to the next level—possibly by an actual Exalted Cyclops.
Naturally, we can’t take your word that you are White, however. One of those crafty quadroons might sneak through! You’ll need to prove your business is White-owned by presenting us a certificate from one of four Investigating Committees (suitably comprised by a Grand Cyclops, Grand Magi, and Grand Monk).
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You see it coming by now: This ludicrously racist program is real. It’s not run by poor Walmart; rather, hyper-progressive Amazon openly pushes this naked discrimination, merely substituting Black for White and replacing the Ku Klux Klan with more socially acceptable racists.
How can such a clear and obvious violation of so many laws (see, e.g., 42 USC 1981, Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, and dozens of similar state laws) continue to exist? Simple. We’ve all been socially conditioned to accept it, to beat our chests in agony at every imagined microaggression in a Starbucks one moment and then, the Two Minutes Hate over, to not just blithely ignore the vicious, open racism being practiced by almost every major company and education institution, but to actually proclaim it desirable.
Today, let’s do something about it. If you are sick of blatant racism being crammed down our throats by grifting elites, file a complaint against Amazon: